I sit here in the bathtub …bored out of my mind, no relationship and no money. In just 8 months it will be November of 2014. This being significant in that it will mark 5 years since I began using meth; November of 2009.
As I sit here and reflect on where and who I was 5 years ago and where and who I am today, I am complacent to be quite honest.
I could be the all too familiar public service announcement, ‘Look at what meth has taken from her,’ or my personal favorite, ‘The Face(s) of Meth.’
To be honest, meth was the best thing I have ever found.
Better than any church…meth never judged me or condemned me to hell -as least not by speaking it. I now know meth is it’s own unique kind of hell.
Meth is the best boyfriend/partner I have ever had. Meth never yells at me, calls me fat, hits me, or tells me I’m worhtless.
Meth is my best friend. It is always there when I need it…to feel better, to have more self-confidence, or just to sit with me and keep me company. Never condemning me or my decisions.
Meth = unconditional love.
Meth = no guilt.
Meth never tells me what a bad mother/sister/daughter/ girlfriend/friend/lover I am.
Meth isn’t with me because of what I can do for it. In fact, just the opposite…meth is here because of what it can do for ME.