Laying here in bed wondering why I ever started using…and how I will ever be able to quit. Would I rather die now.
No…I don’t think so even though that’s what I secretly hope for with every rig.

List of reasons why I feel shitty enough right now to want to walk away from using:
1)  Meth mouth…my mouth feels like it’s on fire and I can see and feel my once beautiful white teeth rotting away.
2)  I claim to use to lose weight, but I haven’t lost (and kept off) any weight since I started over 2 years ago.
3)  My legs are constantly cramping up.
My memory is fading with every use now.
4)  My face is all broken out from me picking all night again.
5)  I just want to be able to sleep normally again.
6)  My fingernails and toenails are cracked & hurting.
7)  I am constantly paranoid that everyone is talking and/or laughing about me when I am high. I can’t even go into a store without suspecting everyone of knowing that I’m high and mocking me.
8)  I CONSTANTLY fear that I will lose my job if anyone finds out.
9)  It would kill me inside if my children /family found out about my usage by me overdosing or having a heart attack or dying.   Argh!!!

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