Here I am, still awake. Day 2 for now. I do so much better at work with just a hit in the morning.
Just to maintain.
And so I can socialize.
I have such horrible anxiety talking to people without my crystal courage.
How do normal (ie. clean) people survive???
I have resigned myself to the fact that I will never be able to get off of this shit. It is my best-friend, my self-confidence, my courage– all wrapped into one neat little injectable rig (needle).
I just hope that I die high and happy. Not in a coma or on life-support. DNR –do NOT resuscitate!!! Let me go how I want to. If I’m lucky, it will be the one last thing I have control over in my life.
I am sweating so horribly today. Yuck!!! And all I can smell is my meth BO 😦
Once I level out and get an hour or two or sleep tomorrow or the next night, I’ll feel much better.
I did eat today, so that’s good if you like to eat…and be FAT!!
I do not!!
I ate 190 calories …argh!!
Well, off to ‘tweaker-time’ for awhile. Catch ya ‘all on the flip side 😉
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