Good morning! I apologize for taking almost a week to post anything new. I was seriously thinking about getting clean because I am broke. That lasted 5 days. Can’t do it. I can’t function at work without ‘shit’. All I did at home was sleep. No energy and I’d get nervous twitches. I looked more strung out off the shit! So, my d-boy (dealer) owed me a g (gram) from a ways back and I called him on it. Now I’m feeling much better…normal.
Next week is Thanksgiving, then Christmas . I hate the holidays for the simple fact that it’s pretty much the only time I have to face 3 of my relatives that know I ‘was’ a user so every time I see them they inspect my arms. They don’t come out and say anything but they may as well. Their disapproving glares kill me inside. Like I don’t already know I’m a loser junkie! I just want to yell at them, ‘The only time I feel at peace with myself is when I’m high. I don’t need your condescending attitude as well!’
Oh well. That’s one of the things I have to deal with if I want to continue this lifestyle.
As far as work, who the fuck knows. I dread the day I get caught. I just wish they could see how much better I function when I’m high. Not an outrageously stupid high. I just use enough to maintain. I hate sleeping. I’m afraid to fall asleep. I’m not sure why that is.
That’s all for now. Short and sweet. I’ll be thinking more clearly as the week goes on 🙂
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