Hi. Sorry I’ve been away for so long. Really thought I had the willpower to stay clean this time. Nope. This drug is the fucking devil. Doesn’t care about you…only wants your soul. Doesn’t care about your family, your children or your friends…only about doing WHATEVER it takes to get and stay high. I honestly thought I was still in control of my habit with meth. Wrong!! I am utterly and hopelessly under it’s control. Every last penny I earn will go towards this drug until it kills me. Of that much I am sure. I have considered my usage over the past 3 years, at best, recreational. I now know better. It has got me hook, line, and sinker and has for a long time. I just didn’t realize it. I have tried so very hard to go off it, but I can’t function anymore without it. I can’t think clearly and I can’t hold still unless I do a blast. I feel as though I look and act more like the stereotypical tweeker when I’m NOT using. I twitch, I crave sugar like it’s air, I can’t process a sane thought, and my hands don’t ever stop shaking. I feel so uneasy the entire time. When I finally do give in and make the call for more, my entire body literally shakes in anticipation. I can’t focus on work, errands, anything until I feel that loaded rig going into my arm.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE ..if you know of anyone that is even considering using meth, do whatever is in your means to prevent it. Trust me when I say you will have saved a soul from hell.
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