Sorry …had to take a minute there. 
I am so fucking fed up with feeling like this!!  

I hate that my fingernails and toenails are literally being eaten off my skin.

I hate that my hair is falling out.

I hate that my once beautiful, white teeth are rotting out a little more every day.

I hate that I have aged so much.

I hate not being able to function without the monster.   I thought last week I was gonna do it.  I made it 5 whole days with nothing.   I ended up taking the entire week off from work ‘sick’ because I couldn’t get out of bed, but I really thought I could do it.  The day I had to go back to work, I literally couldn’t calm myself without a hit.   FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

What did I do to deserve this sentence in life???!!!!!??????

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