Crystalkillz's Blog

My journey fighting the demon


February 2014

Methamphetamine house blamed for Tauranga girl’s cancer


19-year old Utah County driver arrested on suspicion of running over his own Mother while he was on Methamphetamine when she tried to stop him

Dinner with my Brother

A letter to my baby brother

Past Present Future

Dear baby brother,

I hope I can show you this letter someday.  I hope you stay in our family long enough for that to happen.  It’s 2014 and you are 18 months old.  Instead of a nice cozy home with your parents, you are living in foster care.  If you are old enough to read this, you probably already know that our mother is a drug addict.  You know she was the reason you lived in a foster home as an infant.  I remember the first time I held you.  You were 2 days old and so helpless.  You opened your big blue eyes and just stared at me.  I immediately knew you would be one of the most important people in my life.  I knew I had to use my experience to help you in any way you needed.  Again, as a result of our mother’s addiction, you had…

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HOW CAN YOU TELL WHEN A JUNKIE IS LYING? (…And Other Tales of My Family)

Denice Laws

meth-addictionWhen you have a family like mine, life is more than just a little difficult. Growing up with multiple addicts is like having been born without limbs emotionally.  While your ‘normal’ friends with their ‘normal’ families are navigating the calm waters of minor irritations and hitting life milestones with ease, they are never without complete and utter shock at the complete disarray you’re family life has indelibly stained the way you think, act and interact with, well, pretty much every aspect of daily life.  

If you understand and indeed have this emotional quadriplegia , you might believe the constant violent swings between agony and defeat, colored in the palette of  deep mistrust will kill you. I’m here to assure you, it will not. Not if you don’t let it.

I moved in with my estranged mother at the tender age of fourteen, and became a witness to the destructive…

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Keep going back

Deviant Christian Report

“Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.” Robert Orben

“Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address.” Lane Olinghouse

“What makes resisting temptation difficult, for many people, is that they don’t want to discourage it completely.” Franklin P. Jones and/or Benjamin Franklin

A story or joke has a little boy watching a dog chew a bone. The mother warns the boy several times to leave the dog alone. The boy continues to circle and watch. Sometimes, the boy extends a hand, lightly petting the dog, and then retreating with a growl from the dog. Finally, on an approach, the dog snaps at the boy and barks. The boy runs to his mother and cries “He bite-ted me for no reason!”

Another comparison; I am that boy. I know to leave porn alone. But I continue to circle and watch…

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Assumption Parish Sheriff’s Office: Suspected Methamphetamine dealer, Brian Metrejean Jr., 24, of Pierre Part, almost passes out when deputies hand him search warrant

A train of thoughts — a recovering addict.


DSC_7805 © RecoveryMaldives

Is it about just life there is to it? Or, more than that? One may definitely wonder about the known and not-so-known things to life, but not the unseen aspect; just the other side of life where some of the addicts tread to. No longer content with their lives they go to unimaginable lengths to fulfill their basic need: to escape! 

But, there is a different angle to it! A more positive line of thought where the feeling of need vanishes and the feeling of giving back dominates our train of thoughts. It’s no more just about me; It’s about those around me too. How can I come to truce, where you are no longer gonna do it just for yourself but for others around you too.

There is a line, it’s still finite. Once you fall of it,  it’s going to be the end of it. That…

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