After 98 days free from using crystal meth, I “made” the decision to use once again. This time, there doesn’t really seem like there was a reason for using. Usually there is a source of anger, or resentment, or unhappiness before I use. That didn’t happen to me. So I am left with an abundance of thoughts and feelings – the usual suspects – regret, despair, anger, frustration, disgust. The shame and embarrassment I feel when I see my friends and family because they all know when I use. It’s so obvious. I feel terrible.
But now what do I do with all of these feelings?
If I was an active member of NA my sobriety clock would be set back to zero days and I’d feel ashamed and stay sick. Most of my original recovery skills taught to my in rehab are all based on the AA/NA program and…
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