…you’re vacuuming at 6am.
…you have more than one disabled vehicle in your yard.
…your desk drawer has not one intact Bic pen in it.
…you buy Reynolds wrap in bulk.
…you and your hound dog could win a look-alike contest.
…someone says “paranoid” and you get defensive.
…you see a “Proactive” commercial and you get jealous.
…your 4 main food groups are nothing,nothing,nothing, and Snickers.
…you mow your lawn with fingernail clippers.
…you use tweezers to shave your legs.
…you make fun of people for sleeping.
…you have ever spray painted anything gold.
…you think you look hot in multi- decade represents.
…you think dehydration is “the look” you’ve always been going for.
…homelessness and joblessness are your chick magnet.
…you like bad dreams like a good scary movie.
…you wear mace like an accessory.

Advertisements